It’s midnight, I’m awake… again.
*swifts restlessly in bed.*
“What am I doing here?” I wonder, “Seriously, WHAT in the world am I doing here!?”
“Dad, I wanna come home. I don’t want to be here anymore”.
Dad: “What happened?”
“Nothing happened. I just want to go home now. I miss you and Mom… I miss my friends.”
Dad: “Alright, then come home. Book your ticket and come home, we all miss you too”.
*checks for flights to Amsterdam*
“Damn, why are those tickets so expensive, ugh.”
“Do I really want to go?
When I’m back in Holland I’m sure I’d regret this decision”.
But I stayed. I cannot say how many times I have felt this way; yet here we are. It has exactly been one year since I made the decision to move across the globe, to explore more of individuality, of independency. Many times have I faced difficulties, and many times have I wanted to give up. But I overcame, I grew. So many setbacks and peaks have turned me into the person that I am today. I have gained so much confidence by having to take care of everything on my own. And there has not been a single day where I didn’t feel beautiful. Yes, that is worth mentioning, because for the first time, I am absolutely comfortable in my own skin. Every day I remind myself of my accomplishments, and they motivate me to be even greater. How amazing is it to finally be able to exhale everything that once was. and breathe in a new chapter.
To the one who longs to travel but is too scared: Do it.
To the one who is not doing what they love out of fear for failure: Do it.
To the one who doesn’t take risks: Take them.
To the one who wants to make a life changing decision but hesitates: Do it anyway.
Because, if at the end of your life you haven’t done it… have you really lived?
I encourage everyone to, once in their lives, take a break and move. Move yourself into new circumstances. A new environment will bring you so much knowledge and you’ll get to know parts of yourself you never knew. You’ll find strength in your being and hope in the unknown.
I catch myself adoring every moment with great intensity.
Every moment, and the next more than the previous one.
As I feel the wind breezing through my curls, I am aware of my blessings.
Then I am witness of the sun setting right in front of my very own eyes.
Another day have I lived.
Another day have I breathed and seen the Earth in all her glory.
I thank GOD for my moments.
For my joy and my sorrow
I thank Him for my eyes and vision, for I am forever grateful to behold all of the beauty He had once created.
My riches are exceeding and they fill my heart.
In my darkest hour and deepest struggle, I always find myself able.
And in my moment of greed and envy, I find myself fortunate beyond measure.
For I have everything any human being could ever ask for.
-Shari Jourdain ©
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